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The Soapy South



To begin with, I must say that I am from the Deep South which, of course, has had an effect on the style of my writing. As you may know, the South has a veritable cornucopia of literature depicting scenes of our eccentric lives. Hell, in the South, we don't hide the skeletons in our closets; we bring them down to the front porch! (or gallery as the genteel might say.) This eccentricity also extends to the manner of saying things. For example, we frequently say "fall out" for faint, "catch a conniption fit" for a tantrum, "having bad nerves" for being nervous and "falling victim to a sinking spell" when you feel weak. I must say that "sinking spell" is one of my personal favorites. With that said, I know you will understand if one or two "you all's" turn up in the following story. I hope you enjoy this particular vignette of the South.
 
 

Brian was 14 that summer and his life was a textbook definition of the "middle child syndrome." Jan Brady had nothing on him! His older brother, Doug, was 17 and his younger brother, Sam was 10. It seemed to Brian that his older brother could do anything he wanted and his younger brother got all the attention. Additionally, Sam had a very irritating habit of reverting back to baby talk and saying things like "wed" for red and "wittle" for little. As for Doug, he just ragged on Brian relentlessly. In any case, Brian was the quiet one. These feelings were brought home to him yet again during a family vacation to Atlanta one summer.

As it was summer, Brian had been eating a lot more junk food than usual including hamburgers, hotdogs and everything else imaginable. He knew his brothers were doing the same thing but of course his would be the higher price paid for this particular faux pas. He hadn't had a good bowel movement during the couple of days prior to his family leaving for Atlanta, and he was beginning to feel the effect of this after the 15-hour drive there. At home, the treatment for this type of situation usually consisted of a healthy dose of Milk of Magnesia and as a second line of defense, a glycerin suppository. A couple of times, but rarely, his parents brought out the big guns: the enema bag! This was a last resort and always left Brian feeling drained (no pun intended) for hours. His older brother didn't seem to have much of a problem with constipation probably due to the fact that he was very active in sports and was always preparing for a game. Sam had his share of constipation and usually ended up getting the glycerin suppository. To quote Sam, "that wittle suppositowy weally worked!" Brian's parents hung the bag on him 3 or 4 times. However, by the time they took the trip to Atlanta, he hadn't had the benefit of a bag of soapy water in a couple of years.

Not having had a movement in almost 4 days, Brian actually told his parents he wasn't feeling so good. His mother begin to fret over not having brought some Milk of Magnesia but that she hadn't because the boys hadn't had a problem in so long. Brian's father quelled her agonizing by saying that he was sure he could locate a drugstore and would pick up some. His father was headed out the motel room with car keys in hand when he came up with an idea. When he was a kid, his mother had relieved his spells of constipation by cutting off a piece of soap from the bar and sticking it up his butt as a suppository. He said it never failed to cause the remainder of everything he had eaten the previous week to come flying out.

Acquiescent as usual, Brian followed his father into the small motel bathroom where his father unwrapped the small bar of soap that was provided. Cleaning off his pocketknife, his father shaved off a sliver of soap about two inches long by one half inch wide. All through this, Doug and Sam were trying to stifle their laughter but they were not doing a very good job of it. Brian's father had made him take down his pants and underwear and lie over his lap while he sat on the closed toilet seat. He had run the stick of soap under some warm water and within a second, Brian felt the warm mass touch his anus. In another second, the soap was popped up Brian's butt with the middle finger of his father's rather large hand. Brian didn't know which was worse, the soap itself or his father's finger lodged up his ass (sorry, anus.) Barely another second elapsed, when the most stringent, furious burning started in Brian's rear end. It felt like his rectum was trying to escape from the rest of his body. He jumped off his father's lap and held his lower abdomen which began to cramp up from the way he was clenching his cheeks. His father said the burning would only last a few more minutes and then he would get some relief. He had had the soap treatment as a boy and had survived. Only a few more minutes! This was sheer torture. Brian began sweating profusely and jumped on the toilet even though his father urged him to retain the soap. He was convinced that the soap hadn't been mild like Ivory but something of industrial strength.

After one more minute of agony, Brian bore down on his lower abdomen and the little monster popped out. He could not imagine his grandmother doing something like this to his father. This was worse than the Magnesia, suppository or enema. Standing up and not getting much relief from the burning, Brian looked down into the bowl and saw that the intruder was about one half its original size. The rest of it still churned mercilessly in his rectum. After about 30 minutes, the griping and burning subsided a little but Brian periodically placed a washcloth soaked in cool water against his pulsing anus.

His father said the soap wasn't going to work because Brian hadn't held it in long enough. He didn't seem angry but he was obviously losing patience. After all, this was supposed to be a vacation. At this point, Sam said he wasn't feeling well. Brian knew he was pulling his usual jealousy routine as he did whenever anyone else got attention. The little creep didn't even care that Brian had been jumping around with half a bar of soap up his ass! Sam knew he wouldn't get the same treatment as he smiled smugly. Doug came over to Brian and put his hand on his shoulder, "at least you smell good," he said and burst out laughing. How could anyone have such mean-spirited brothers?

Brian's father had had enough and retrieved his car keys saying he would be back soon. He was going to the lobby to ask where the nearest drugstore was and than he would put an end to all of this once and for all so that he could enjoy his vacation. Some vacation, thought Brian. Brian was grateful to his mother who told his brothers to lay off of him for a while. Brian ran for the john two more times as a result of the soapy bullet his father and inserted up his butt. After another 30 minutes, the burning was just about gone but Brian still had not moved his bowels. He just expelled a bit more melted soap which floated in the bowl mockingly. Brian realized he must be packed pretty tightly if that dynamite hadn't unplugged him. After all, there were 4 day's worth of hamburgers and hotdogs churning in his slowly distending gut. By this time, Sam was crying off and on that he had a "bewwyache." Brian thought he would like to give him a real bellyache alright by shoving the remainder of the motel soap up his puckered ass! Then he would really have something to bellyache about, literally.

Before too long, Brian's father returned with a Rexall Drugstore shopping bag filled to the brim. Apprehensively, Brian wondered what goodies awaited him. His father said the Rexall hadn't been too far away and went on to explain that the clerk in the motel lobby had been very helpful. Brian's father told the man that his son was constipated and needed some relief with the traveling and all. The clerk said it happened all the time and the Rexall got a lot of referrals. Great! Even the motel clerk knew Brian was constipated. Brian's father said the clerk told him many was the night he had to give his own sons soapsuds enemas for a particularly stubborn case of constipation. In his mind's eye, Brian imagined bulging enema bags and empathized at the thought of many kids throughout Atlanta grabbing their soapy water-filled bellies attempting to relieve the relentless cramps.

In a minute, Brian's father put his keys down on the dresser and opened the Rexall bag. First, a large bottle of Milk of Magnesia came out. It didn't taste great but Brian could live with it. Next, he took out a jar containing 100 adult size glycerin suppositories. He must have gotten the economy size of everything, thought Brian. Finally and most dramatically, Brian's father took out a long box with the label "Rexall Brand Folding Syringe" emblazoned on the front along with a picture of the bag. Brian knew it! His father had bought an enema bag. He could almost smell the rubber coming from the unopened box. His father put everything on the dresser as Brian's mother told him about Sam's stomachache. Brian's father said that everyone would be fit as a fiddle in a little while and they would all be going to Six Flags Amusement Park soon thereafter. An amusement park was the furthest thing from Brian's mind at that moment.

Brian's father asked Doug if he was feeling alright and asked if he thought he needed a dose of the Magnesia. Doug laughed and said that his ass was fine and then apologized for the language in front of his mother. She just simpered and smiled because, after all, it had come from "can do no wrong Doug." If he had said it, Brian knew his father would already have his belt off in preparation of really making his butt burn! Next, Brian's father said that Sam would get a glycerin suppository which would ease his stomachache. Guess whom the enema bag was for?

Brian's father explained that since the soap suppository hadn't worked, he would have to give him an enema to wash out the retained material in his bowels. Although he didn't let his father know it, the crap was beginning to feel like cement inside of him. Since Brian had only gotten a couple of enemas over the past few years, he had almost forgotten about them. The memories soon returned as his father told Brian to go into the bathroom and followed him with the Rexall enema bag. As his father closed the bathroom door, Brian saw his mother gently instructing Sam to lie on his stomach on one of the beds so she could give him his tummy medicine. At that moment, Brian wanted Sam to get every last one of those 100 suppositories! Brian's father opened the syringe box and told him to take off his pants and underwear as he would have to lie on the floor for the enema. He placed a large white motel towel, the kind which was used at the swimming pool, down on the floor next to the tub. As Brian reluctantly did as he was told, his father took the red enema bag out of the box along with the white tubing, plastic clamp and two nozzles. One nozzle was small and narrow and about the size of a cigarette while the other was about 6 inches long with holes all around it. To Brian's relief, his father put the longer nozzle back in the box. His father proceeded to attach the tubing to the bag which had an open top, clamp the plastic clip shut and attach the white rectal nozzle to the end of the tubing.

By this time, Brian had his pants off but hadn't yet taken off his underwear, waiting for the last possible moment. His father turned on the hot and cold taps until the water ran warm as evidenced by his father‘s ability to hold his hand comfortably under the flow. Next, he placed the top of the bag under the faucet and let the water run in until it was about half full. The bag was the standard 2-quart variety so Brian estimated he was looking at about a quart of enema water.

Although Brian hadn't noticed it before, his father had placed a small jar of Vaseline on the counter (which had been brought on the trip for the times when poor Sam's skin was chapped. He couldn't use regular sunscreen because he had such sensitive skin and they couldn't have his poor skin burned by the mean old sun.) Also, he had a little blue shaker of Morton's salt. How appropriate, thought Brian, when it rains it pours! And he was about to have a bag of water poured into his bloating intestines. As his father turned off the tap and shook a small amount of salt into the contents of the bag, he explained that the pharmacist at the Rexall (now even someone else knew of his predicament and Brian supposed all of Atlanta was preparing for his enema like the premiere of "Gone With the Wind.") had said to add salt to the water instead of soap as his bowels were probably irritated from the earlier treatment. He said that the salt would draw extra water from the walls of the colon and help with the evacuation.

Brian's father told him to remove his underwear and get down on the floor on all fours like a dog. Brian complied and watched as his father hung the enema bag from the face cloth rack next to the tub. The bottom of the bag was about one and a half feet from the floor. After releasing some water out of the tubing, he lubricated the enema tip with some Vaseline and told Brian to take several deep breaths. While Brian was concentrating on the breathing, the tip touched his anus and then his father quickly shot it home. At this point, Brian began to experience something that he hadn't expected to happen. As the tip penetrated deeper into him, he began to experience the beginnings of an erection. When his father opened the clamp on the hose and the water started to flow into him, the erection matured. Brian turned red from embarrassment and was grateful his father hadn't noticed.

That was one advantage of being in the all fours position, thought Brian. At first, the water felt rather warm and soothing as it entered Brian's bowels but then a steady pressure began building similar to how his stomach felt when he went down the big hump of the roller coaster. The feeling became very intense and reached a crampy crescendo at which point Brian asked his father to stop the flow of water. His father clamped the hose shut for a minute but told Brian that he would have to take all the water in the enema bag or he would have to start over with a fresh bag of water. That statement alone was enough for Brian. His father undid the clamp again and the enema continued to flow. After about 5 minutes, the bag emptied and his father told Brian to lie on his left side with his knees pulled up to his stomach. He said that he was going to leave the enema tip in Brian's anus to aid him in retaining the water. Over the next 15 minutes, Brian began timing the spasmodic contractions he was having as if he were in labor. The pressure and gas pains originated around his navel and quickly rippled down to his lower abdomen and rectum. His erection was now beginning to ebb and Brian fleetingly wondered what it all meant.

After 15 minutes, Brian's father said he could get up and sit on the toilet to expel the enema. Brian wasted no time and getting up off the floor, sat down on the toilet with a loud groan. The first gush of water was monumental. Soon, the remnant of a week's worth of junk food was floating in the bowl. As Brian doubled up with another wave of cramps, his father cleaned the enema bag and hung it from the shower curtain rod to dry. At this point, Brian's mother knocked on the door and said that Sam's suppository was starting to kick in and he had to use the potty. Here he was, thought Brian, with the remainder of a quart of salt water up his ass and Sam's suppository was starting to work his bowels. Just imagine if he had been pumped up with an enema bag of salt water. Leaving the bathroom, Brian lay down on one of the beds and heard Sam ask his mother what that "wed bag" was hanging from the shower curtain rod. His mother replied that it was for Brian's bewwyache. Brian groaned and rolled over on the bed when a fresh paroxysm of cramps overcame him but he just had to grin and bear it as wittle Sam was expelling his suppository-induced movement. Doug antagonized Brian relentlessly by calling him "enema bag belly." Brian would have endured a full bag of salt water to see Doug get his (little did he know that in a few months, he would but that's another story.)

After Sam was out of the bathroom, Brian returned to the john a couple of times for some semi- explosions of water and gas but little fecal material. The majority of that had been expelled during the main explosion. A little while later, his father said that they were going to Six Flags. Brian was totally wiped out (literally) and asked if he could just stay in the motel room in bed. His parents agreed to let him stay and the rest of the family was off to the amusement park. Lying in bed, Brian periodically rolled from side to side in an attempt to relieve the remaining pressure in his abdomen. Glancing at the bathroom, he saw the red Rexall enema bag hanging there and wondered about the effect it had had on him as he felt an ever so pleasant twitch between his legs.

See you all later!

Valley of Decision

ValleyOfDecision@hotmail.com

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